HAIRCUTS AND DIETS: THE THEORY OF WINNING BY LOSING.

lee_broom

HAIRCUTS AND DIETS: THE THEORY OF WINNING BY LOSING.

 
HAIRCUTS

Barber: how much do you want me to take off?

Barbee: Just leave 1 ½ inches all over.

Barber: Okay but how much do you want to cut off?

Barbee: How long is it now?

Barber: (measures hair.) 4 inches here and 3 inches over here and 1 ½ over her around the ears.

Barbee: Okay so remove 2 ½ inches here, 1 ½ inches over here and don’t cut around the ears.

Barber: That’s too difficult, how long do you want it to be?

Barbee:  Just leave 1 ½ inches all over.

Barber: That’s better; you shoulda said so in the beginning.

 

 

 

DIETS

Dieter: I weigh 200 lbs. I am 5’10” and I want to get to down to 160 lbs.

Nutritionist: You are consuming 2000 calories daily. I want you to start eating 1500 calories daily.

Dieter: At 3500 calories a pound it’ll take me 40 weeks to lose the fat.

Nutritionist: Actually, if all you do is diet, much of the weight loss will be muscle.

Dieter: I want to lose weight and I want to do it in half the time. And I don’t want to lose any muscle.

Nutritionist: Great, so let’s add a five-mile jog every morning; that should do it.

Dieter: This is getting too hard. I can’t do what you ask.

Nutritionist: Have you ever successfully reached your desired weight and kept it off for more than a month?

Dieter: No.

Nutritionist:  Okay, I have a better method. Do the 1500 calorie diet and exercise for fifteen minutes, four times a week. How does that sound?

Dieter: Great. How long is this for?

Nutritionist: The rest of your life. The 1500 calories is what you should have been eating all along for someone your height and level of activity. You’ve been trying to win by losing. Commit for life and you will become successful.  By the way, I can recommend a really great barber. You have very long hair, you could lose a pound with a good haircut; Just tell him to cut everything down to 1 ½ inches.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s