THE XEROIC RESPONSE TO FEAR

THE XEROIC RESPONSE TO FEAR
(A conversation between Xero Aticus
and the Psychedelic Toad.)
Lee Broom

 

PSYCHO: So tell me Abner, what is it that you fear the most?

XERO: Nada, zilch, double zilch.

PSYCHO: What rhymes with zilch?

XERO: You’re changing the subject.

PSYCHO: It’s my subject. It was I who asked you what you fear; it                                 was I who asked you what rhymes with zilch. The answer                           is filch, which I believe is a word for theft, which is what                               you are doing when you beat around the bush.; you’re                                 stealing your own identity…
So tell me; what are the four things you fear the most?

XERO: Why four?

PSYCHO:(Silence.)

XERO: Okay, okay.

PSYCHO: (Silence)

XERO: Four things?

PSYCHO: (Silence.)

XERO: Okay I’ve got it.

PSYCHO: Ribbet

XERO: Toads don’t say “ribbet”; that’s the language of frogs.

PSYCHO: So…

XERO:  The four things are…

PSYCHO: (Silence)

XERO: Baptists, Muslims, Republicans and Democrats.

PSYCHO: Libertarians?

XERO: Them too.

PSYCHO:  Librarians?

XERO: Not afraid of Librarians.

PSYCHO: Why is that, Abner?

XERO: It’s okay with them if I think.

PSYCHO: Aren’t you a Lutheran?

XERO: I am.

PSYCHO: Why’s that?

XERO: Martin Luther was a Librarian in his spare time.

PSYCHO: Really?

XERO: Really.

 

XERO ATICUS AND THE PSYCHEDELIC TOAD GET DOWN

 

XERO ATICUS & THE PSYCHEDELIC TOAD GET DOWN
(A conversation between Xero Aticus
and the Psychedelic Toad.)
Lee Broom

 

PSYCHO: Hey there XERO ATICUS. You have that lost look on your face again. ‘sup?

XERO: Dude…YOU MIGHT TRY ADDRESSING ME AS MR. ATICUS

PSYCHO: Well….

XERO: Well what?

PSYCHO: (The Look.)

XERO: Don’t look at me that way.

PSYCHO: (The Look.)

XERO:  You’re giving me that PSYCHEDELIC TOAD look. Stop it please.

PSYCHO:  Well…..

XERO:  Okay…..I need to make amends with someone and I can’t.

PSYCHO: What’s stoppin’ ya?

XERO: I’m not sure what to do.

PSYCHO: Howsabout starting with an apology?

XERO: Well, that hasn’t worked out so well either.

PSYCHO: What happened; don’t tell me; you forgot to pay your AT&T bill, right?

XERO: Don’t get psychedelic on me, Wart Face.

PSYCHO: You sure do a lot of bellyaching, MR. ATICUS. Go on.

XERO: Alright, already; so I write this email, see?

PSYCHO: An email; okay.

XERO: Yeah, an email; it starts out okay but by the time I get to the fifth line I sound angry
again.

PSYCHO: Okay…

XERO: Okay. That’s it. I need ideas. Got any?

PSYCHO: Stop at the third line.

XERO:  Oh.

THE BLUE MARBLE SPEAKS

File:The Earth seen from Apollo 17.jpgThe Blue Marble  Wikipedia File:The Earth seen from Apollo 17.jpg

 

THE BLUE MARBLE SPEAKS

Earth is a rock; Earth has no opinions; it cannot think, it cannot speak;  however…

Earth has a belief system.

If Earth could speak, it would say…

“I am hurtling through space in a perfectly straight line. I am not sure of my destination but I will arrive at the earliest possible time. Nothing can deter me; nothing can slow me down; I am following a perfectly plotted, straight path.  I am going where no Rock has ever gone before. I am Earth.”   

Of course, in reality this strong-willed rock has been in orbit for a very long time.  And so have you and I and everything else in the universe.

And that’s the Truth.