Category Archives: BEANS N RICE

ROCKY THE DUCK

A friend of mine has a friend named Rocky. Rocky  is a biped; Rocky is a duck. My friend is a biped named Mary; Mary is not a duck.

Mary enjoys scooting along the canals in Phoenix, Arizona; she enjoys the scoot, the fresh air and the opportunity to acquire a clear head.

Mary likes ducks.

I’m not sure if she has always liked ducks. I’m curious you see because I too like ducks. Chickens are okay. I’ve known some chickens in my life but chickens aren’t as smart as ducks and who would ever think to name a chicken Donald or Huey, Dewey or Louie; and Rocky? No chicken could ever get along with the other chickens with a name like Rocky.

When Mary met Rocky I suspect it was rather one sided. Actually (if I got the story right), Rocky was a duckling at the time and he must have stood out from the others; at least I don’t remember Mary talking about Rocky’s diblings (that’s duck for duck sibling) by mentioning Darlene or Joey, if ya know what I mean.

I asked Mary recently repeat the story  which she gladly did.

I don’t know where she spotted Rocky but my brain has filled that in for me and In my mind’s eye I can very clearly see Mom and the kids waddling down the canal under the cottonwoods near 56th and Indian School Rd. So there.

I think that Mary must have stopped to linger for a few minutes for she clearly fell head over heels in love with the duckies (you should see her eyes light up when she tells the story). She may not have been a duck lover before the incident but Mary is now a duck lover for life.

When Mary gets to that part of the story where Rocky is missing, that light in her eyes becomes a flash of lightning. I think the way she tells it is that on the second visit Mom was there and perhaps one of the kids but there was no Rocky.

Mary looked up and down the canal for a while, jogging this way and that and finally with a pout and a wrinkled brow returned to her living room and pondered the possibilities of a missing Rocky.

Mary is a very determined lady which is probably what drew her to Rocky in the first place for you see, she did not talk about Rocky as though she was a Mother Duck – after all Rocky had a mom. No, Mary’s eyes spoke of Rocky kinda like a brother, yeah that’s it; Rocky was a brother duck and Mary in the telling comes alive again when letting me know that Rocky was back on the third day.

She reported nothing else about brother Rock that I can recall, just that Rocky was alive and well and back with Mom and his diblings.

I think that must have been a year or so ago that these compelling events became such an attractive story; When I saw Mary on Sunday she brought me up to date; Rocky is a daddy Duck now and has ducklings of his own, One looks exactly like Rocky. The rest are decidedly Mom.

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WHAT TO DO WHEN AWAKENING TO DEPRESSION

 

 

WHAT TO DO WHEN AWAKENING TO DEPRESSION

1. Go to the refrigerator. Place your head into the freezer and breathe deeply five times. The negative ions will perk you up.

2. Take a shower. Splashing drops of water create negative ions which will perk you up.

3. Sit down at the breakfast table and say “Thank You”. (and mean it). If you don’t know who you said that to, don’t fret, it doesn’t matter. Eat breakfast and breathe deeply and exhale before each bite.

4. As you wash the breakfast dishes, clean the dirty edges around the kitchen sink or take a mop to the kitchen floor; do one quick chore which was not in your plan.

5. Go about your day. If you find yourself looking down, raise your eyes and look for the eyes of another, peer into them and say “Hi, how’s it goin’ “ (and mean it).

6. When you go to bed say “Thank You” (and mean it). If you don’t know who you said that to, don’t fret, it doesn’t matter.

WHAT TO DO WHEN AWAKENING TO A LOVELY SPRING DAY

1. Same as above.

By Lee Broom.

TIME and TIME AGAIN

For we who lack the perspective of Brainy Albert, the more daring among us may content our smartish selves with using as a measure of time, the Past, the Present and the Future.

However…

The Past is but a memory;
The Present…
too small to measure;
and a Future that lasts Forever…
So…

What about Memory?…

ideas whizzing by?

that play I wrote in 2001?

The book you finished  reading yesterday…?

So “Why?”, “How great is that?”

Perhaps we were wrong…
There is no future; it’s long since gone?
Now really…
This is just plain silly.

Or Not.

OH SHIT

lee_broom

Last Monday evening was the first time in forty years of attending a meeting of close friends, a group  that I shall refer to as the Arcadians , that I ever witnessed a member demonstrate a belief that consensus was unnecessary for determining whether a group such as ours lives or dies.

I saw and heard a friend of over thirty years explain to our group of nine that such a small gathering was half the size necessary to officially be a group. I heard him declare that if we were unable to double the size of our attendance by the end of October, he would bring closure to our existence.  His demeanor was that of a Shakespearean martyr.

If this story were turned into a novel a good title might be

“OH SHIT”.

That title is already reserved, however;  I am prepared to publish  a book about our next POTUS. – a short thriller which mentions no names.

Guy Stuff (from January 2015)

Lee in Paradise

Wed night at Miracle Mile I walked in, waved to Bill and John who were already working on Soup and Sandwich. I bypassed the serving line and went straight to the register and asked for apple pie and coffee which are next to the cashier. Since I always have apple pie and coffee and since I had no tray, the cashier already had the pie and coffee waiting for me. I thanked Wendy and moved toward our table.

When I sat down Bill remarked “How did you get through that line so fast?” John said to Bill “He didn’t.” and Bill said as though he just realized what I had done, “Lee Broom, you cut in front of all those people? That’s not nice.” and John laughed, So did Frank, who was arriving when all this rowdy Guy Stuff started, and I said “That’s the difference between Lemmings and Eagles” and Bill said “Huh?” and Frank said “Bill, for crying out loud even I got that one and as the chuckling continued, Bill said “Explain that one to me, I’m a little slow tonight.”

I looked at him for a second to make sure he meant it (which he didn’t) and said “Bill its like this, if a lemming becomes an Eagle you can be sure that more would follow, and soon the sky would be filled with Eagles and the Eagles would be fighting over nesting places and those who were defeated would no longer be flying; they’d be back on the ground, standing in line, their feathers would be moulting and every now and then one of those Eagles would mutter to his or her self, “Aw shit”. And Bill said “Aw shit” and we all laughed.

These are my friends.

They help me to keep my blood pressure down.