THE XEROIC RESPONSE TO FEAR
(A conversation between Xero Aticus
and the Psychedelic Toad.)
PSYCHO: So tell me Abner, what is it that you fear the most?
XERO: Nada, zilch, double zilch.
PSYCHO: What rhymes with zilch?
XERO: You’re changing the subject.
PSYCHO: It’s my subject. It was I who asked you what you fear; it was I who asked you what rhymes with zilch. The answer is filch, which I believe is a word for theft, which is what you are doing when you beat around the bush.; you’re stealing your own identity…
So tell me; what are the four things you fear the most?
XERO: Why four?
XERO: Okay, okay.
XERO: Four things?
XERO: Okay I’ve got it.
XERO: Toads don’t say “ribbet”; that’s the language of frogs.
XERO: The four things are…
XERO: Baptists, Muslims, Republicans and Democrats.
XERO: Them too.
XERO: Not afraid of Librarians.
PSYCHO: Why is that, Abner?
XERO: It’s okay with them if I think.
PSYCHO: Aren’t you a Lutheran?
XERO: I am.
PSYCHO: Why’s that?
XERO: Martin Luther was a Librarian in his spare time.