Tag Archives: habits.

THE LINE

THE LINE

It was a lovely spring day. The sun was warm, the birds were singing, and the wispy clouds added a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day.

Sleepy-eyed Abner rose early that morning perplexed as usual (the man had many questions) having just awakened with a REM time voice in his head, demanding, “Go stand in line”.

“Who said that?” inquired Curious Abner.

“Go stand in line.”

Befuddled Abner rose from his state of confused repose, made his bed and his breakfast as the memory of the command “Go stand in line” echoed in his head.

After a bowl of oatmeal with walnuts, berries and a touch of honey, Abner said to his  sleepy self “What a lovely spring day. The sun is warm, the birds are singing, and the wispy clouds add a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day. I’m gonna go lfind that line and stand in it.”

And he did; he went for a walk, that is.

Inquisitive Abner looked everywhere for the line.

“Where is it?” Abner inquired.

“Excuse me” said Ab to the first person he met. “Do you know where the line starts?

“I believe it starts right here” replied the stranger.

“Thank you” said Abner and the stranger went on her way.

Obedient Abner stood in line.

Eventually, Abner began to fidget. Standing in line apparently was not a great way to spend a lovely spring day.

Impatient and needing to do something, anything at all, Abner decided to return to his lovely spring day walk and he did.

Where is that line?

Eventually however, another stranger came along.

“Excuse me” inquired Abner. “Do you know where the line starts?”

“I believe it starts right here” replied the stranger.

“Thank you” said Ab and the stranger went on his way.

And once again, Compliant Abner stood in line.

And as before, Ab  observed  that standing in line apparently was not a great way to spend a lovely spring day…

But Stubborn Abner stood his ground.

Standing there Abner wondered to himself, “If this is the line where are  the people?”

Time went on. Ab began to fidget.

Eventually however, another stranger approached.

“Excuse me” asked Abner. “Do you know where the line starts?”

“I believe it starts right here,” came the reply.

“Would you like to stand in line?’ asked Sorta Social Abner.

“Thank you for asking” replied the stranger; “But this line is much too long” ; “have a nice day”.

Surprised at the stranger’s remark, Curious Abner turned around. Behind him was a line of people that seemed to wend its way into Eternity. All were waiting patiently, no one was talking to anyone.

Addressing the person now before him Abner introduced himself; “Hi my name is Abner; what’s your name?”

“My name is Rose” she replied and began to introduce him to several other people behind her. There was Xero Aticus,and his sister Gardenia and their centenarian grandmother,  Albinisia Mary.

Albinisia Mary had more stories in her lovely old head than Abner had questions. (And as we know, Curious Abner was after all, a man with many questions).

Within minutes this part of the line was starting to look more like a party, everyone utilizing the conversational opportunities now being made available to them.

As the line evaporated into groups of animated conversationalists, everyone involved gradually migrated to a nearby park.

By the end of this lovely spring day, the sun still warm, the birds no longer singing and the once wispy clouds having surrendered their touch of pastel pleasantness to the gathering cloak of darkness, Weary Abner decided to return home…

And he did.

As Sleepy Abner crawled between   crisp, clean sheets he thought about the day now departing and smiled.

The next morning Optimistic Abner crawled out of bed, ate a bowl of oatmeal with walnuts, berries and a touch of  honey and went out to greet another lovely spring day; the sun was warm, the birds were singing and the clouds though wispy, added a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day.

Curious Abner (the man with many questions who now had some answers) thought to himself “I think I shall go stand in line.”

And he did.

FOCUS

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awareness, acceptance, approval, affirmation, atheism, agnosticism, addiction, amends,
bias, belief,
curiosity, competition, conformity, continuity,  control, cooperation,
depression, dreams, discovery, desire,
entertainment, education,
forgiveness, faith, fear, focus,
goals, guilt,
healing, honesty,
intuition,
learning, logic, language,  love, leadership,
memory,
 prejudice,

safety

 

THE PRESSURE OF GROUP DEMAND

 

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THE PRESSURE OF GROUP DEMAND

 

WHAT A LOVELY SPRING DAY

I received a phone call from a friend, last week.

She wanted to talk about my current, favorite subject, my newest (and,almost ready to publish) self-enlightenment book.

The subject details how to have fun and learn new stuff at the same time, gathering useful information in a way that comes naturally and which leads by way of a short path to that wonderful feeling that accompanies success.

WHAT A LOVELY SPRING DAY provides  101 pages so far, of fun and games,  with essays, poetry and one act plays.

WHAT A LOVELY SPRING DAY is strong on logic  but not at the expense of ignoring other (better?) methods of recovering the use of the inquisitive mind that directed our lives from day one until that day when our moms hauled us off to Kindergarten.

Theresa is not sold on Logic though she is very good at proving a point.

She talked for an hour on the disadvantages of Logic. “It doesn’t provide the seeker of truth with enough information.”

Hmmm. (I should introduce her to A.J.)

And she promoted memorization as the best way to fill one’s head.

Hmmm. (Wow, they sound like they’ve been drinking from the same cup.)

“And how about the quality of that info” I asked. “Is that important to you?”

“Not really.” replied Theresa. “I like having friends.”

IN SEARCH OF LEADERSHIP

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It is impossible from head-nodders to learn the subject of their gossip.  But gossip they do, nod they do, smile and frown and clap they do like starlings at early dawn; they flap, they rustle, they cling together and rise from the grasses and fly together, this way and that, seeking the leader whose randomness fails them.

At sundown the murmeration ceases and together they rustle, they rhyme with the rhythm of the restless till darkness overcomes. Tomorrow they will rise again and like starlings everywhere they will rise as one and heads will nod and the bloated carcasses of their forgotten comrades will add nourishment to the earth and one or two will say do you remember whats-his-name. Oh yes comes the answer, he was always coming up with strange, new ideas.

And the head-nodders bestow their final, limited approval in measured doses and their world continues at break neck speed.

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Lee Broom

 

HAIRCUTS AND DIETS: THE THEORY OF WINNING BY LOSING.

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HAIRCUTS AND DIETS: THE THEORY OF WINNING BY LOSING.

 HAIRCUTS

Barber: how much do you want me to take off?

Barbee: Just leave 1 ½ inches all over.

Barber: Okay but how much do you want to cut off?

Barbee: How long is it now?

Barber: (measures hair.) 4 inches here and 3 inches over here and 1 ½ over her around the ears.

Barbee: Okay so remove 2 ½ inches here, 1 ½ inches over here and don’t cut around the ears.

Barber: That’s too difficult, how long do you want it to be?

Barbee:  Just leave 1 ½ inches all over.

Barber: That’s better; you shoulda said so in the beginning.

 

 

DIETS

Dieter: I weigh 200 lbs. I am 5’10” and I want to get to down to 160 lbs.

Nutritionist: You are consuming 2000 calories daily. I want you to start eating 1500 calories daily.

Dieter: At 3500 calories a pound it’ll take me 40 weeks to lose the fat.

Nutritionist: Actually, if all you do is diet, much of the weight loss will be muscle.

Dieter: I want to lose weight and I want to do it in half the time. And I don’t want to lose any muscle.

Nutritionist: Great, so let’s add a five-mile jog every morning; that should do it.

Dieter: This is getting too hard. I can’t do what you ask.

Nutritionist: Have you ever successfully reached your desired weight and kept it off for more than a month?

Dieter: No.

Nutritionist:  Okay, I have a better method. Do the 1500 calorie diet and exercise for fifteen minutes, four times a week. How does that sound?

Dieter: Great. How long is this for?

Nutritionist: The rest of your life. The 1500 calories is what you should have been eating all along for someone your height and level of activity. You’ve been trying to win by losing. Commit for life and you will become successful.  By the way, I can recommend a really great barber. You have very long hair, you could lose a pound with a good haircut; Just tell him to cut everything down to 1 ½ inches.

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Lee Broom

TAGS, TAGS, TAGS, I NEED TAGS.

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TAGS, TAGS, TAGS, I NEED TAGS.

Good morning reader. You are probably reading this post over coffee and toast, and I am slowly becoming aware that my Nietzsche-esque dream has no ending. My thoughts are about how to greet the day and how this process may fuel my thoughts for the duration.

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile (one day or more) you have read my thoughts on How vs. What, on Evidence vs. Proof, Process vs. Prejudice, Love vs. Need. These are the basic ideas that occupy my mind when the morning sounds begin to attract my attention; the quail snooping around the patio outside the bedroom door for the crumbs that may have dropped from last night’s muffin, the peacock from my neighbor’s yard or the classical music station which has been on for several minutes. When I first awoke it was to recorded jungle sounds, a greeting from Eden to start the day.

Upsy daisy, feet on the floor, take the blood pressure, record the results, grab the meds on the nightstand, gulp them down with the apple juice sitting on the bedside table. Jeans and tee-shirt. Clip the nose hairs and nails and off to the corner drugstore for the morning paper. I go to CVS because they don’t charge sales tax on the daily news. I also go for the morning socialization. Everyone there knows me as Lee the Writer and that I will be back in four hours for a look at the sale items of the day before I place my Nike clad feet on the canal bank for my daily run.

I get that paper for any number of reasons, none of which is to learn what’s new, though on rare occasions I do get a surprise. I buy the paper for two purposes; it is small and by virtue of its condensed size, the perfect format for affirming and reminding one of the bits and pieces of news gathered on the internet the night before. And…….it has crossword puzzles.

Preparing for Breakfast and doing the daily puzzle are a combined activity. In between word/definition matches I reach for my bowl of freshly cooked oatmeal prepared with walnuts, honey and fruit and then back to the job at hand. All perfectly natural, don’tcha think?

Crossword puzzles are created for a variety of reasons. I am attracted only to the United Feature Syndicate crossword; reason being it is less a crossword than a daily set of clues about what’s happening in the world, what we should be paying attention to, who wants to be noticed and keywords for Googling one’s way though the day. After spending thirty minutes seeking linguistic and ideological solutions I now know that “dour” does not rhyme with “sour” and that someone wants us to know that words like Emir and Iran and Nuclear and Syria and yes, Russia require our attention. Oreo is still competing with Hydrox. We’ve been given a small lesson in the important languages of the day and “gnat” and “natty” are still a part of everyday vocabulary.

A hundred twenty or so words are now vying for my attention to become tags in today’s work. And having completed four hours of writing there will be two hours of exercise, one hour at the dinner table, I will dress for evening coffee with other writers and conversationalists and rather than continue the day in grubby jeans and black tee , I polish a pair of black Cole Hahns; on with the clean jeans and Savile Row  dress shirt; slide into a natty black velvet sport coat, grab a couple of Oreos on my way out the door and think about the TED talk that I watched earlier in the day.

Dinner with my pals is not complicated by my natural introverted manner for I have keywords and I can pose as an extrovert for the evening. (What will I think of myself in the morning?) Even worse; I’m booked for an extrovert party on Sunday. This particular event is being billed as a Superbowl potluck. Tags, tags, tags, I need tags.

 

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Lee Broom